It was a hot summer day on Madison Avenue in York, PA and I was 8 years old. Next door, my neighbors had construction workers doing some work on their house. As I watched them from the porch of our 3rd floor apartment, working and sweating, I realized that they were probably thirsty. Yes, I could give them some water. However, I also realized that I could probably do something that would benefit us both. I walked up to one and asked it they were thirsty. He told me that it was very hot and that they were indeed thirsty. I gave him a choice: I could give them some water or, even more delicious, I would make them either a pitcher of ice tea or lemonade, if they gave me 50 cents per cup. After they agreed on ice tea, I marched upstairs to make some. I hadn’t ever even made ice tea before but, I had watched my mother make it a million times so I made it just as she did and hoped for the best. I brought them the pitcher of tea, and cups full of ice, pouring and handing them out to each one. It was a hit! I collected my money and told them to leave the cups on the grass and that I’d come back to get them later. Soon, my mom asked where all the cups went… and I told her what I had done. My mom wasn’t so happy about dirty sweaty construction workers using our personal cups and she made me scrub them extra hard but she laughed at me and also informed me that I had to pay for those tea bags and sugar out of my profit. That’s how the world works.
When I got my first jewelry making kit I wanted to start making jewelry to sell with my grandfather when he went to his flea markets. Friday nights I would take my earning from the last flea market and head to the craft store to re-invest in some new and different beads, a term my dad had taught me. I stood next to my grandfather selling his cowboy hats and Def Leppard bandanas, and talked to my potential customers, convincing them to buy my jewelry for their kids. He taught me all about building relationships with people and getting them to talk… and my grandfather is an expert at talking for sure 🙂
Now, my dad has HIS own business. It’s something I’ve been watching unfold for years. Some ventures have failed and when he did, he moved on to the next idea. I’ve been able to watch him take some huge risks and take some huge blows to do his own thing and be his own boss, carving the kind of life and work he wants to live and do. I’m proud of how successful he’s become, no matter what’s been thrown at him. He hasn’t sold out. He’s stayed firm in believing that he had what it took to make it work. This stubborn will is in me too. Persevere and overcome. Hustle, hustle, hustle.
I’m an entrepreneur. It’s in my blood. It’s always been who I am.
I quit my job. It wasn’t a bad job. To say that would be ungrateful of me. Many people would live for this job.
Who doesn’t like having steady, reliable income? I mean, the supposed “peace of mind” that comes from the guarantee that you can pay your bills is like putting on warm comfy slippers at the end of the day.
However, this assurance isn’t enough for me to accept the lifestyle this type of job creates for me.
Confined to a desk in a windowless office, surrounded by walls of grey. Restricted to an uncompromising schedule. Staring at a computer until my eyes glaze over. Sitting at a desk until my ass has permanently imprinted my seat. Jail.
This isn’t a judgment on those of you who have these types of jobs… especially if you love your job! I am just saying it’s not for me. This is not an environment in which I flourish. So, it’s time to move on.
I’ve noticed how I’ve changed since taking the full-time job in January and the word that has come to mind is careless. I spend more money, go out and do stupid things more often, and watch more TV than I ever have. But, when you’re in jail all day it’s hard to go home and just snap out of that state of mind and switch into another mode. At least I’ve found that to be true for myself and it all has to do with one big thing: time. Precious, precious free time.
Free time is so vital to a truly healthy mind and body. I have learned that the less free time I have, the more caged I feel. The more caged I feel, the more careless and reckless I get. The more careless and reckless I get the more money and time I spend on instant gratification. (Ok, I mean, I don’t really totally regret my 4am karaoke nights… but I didn’t even start having 4am karaoke nights until I felt like a caged animal.)
People seem to hate “free time” or even judge you for wanting it. We are obsessed with so-called “productivity.” However, BUSY DOEN’T MEAN PRODUCTIVE. They are two very different things. I am tired of being busy and not being productive and that’s what 9-5 life feels like to me. I’m not moving any closer to my dreams and goals. It’s just not who I am and not how I want to live.
I know there’s another way.
It takes free time to cultivate dreams and goals. There is nothing wrong with spending time just to think. To space out. To let your mind wander for hours. Why do we perpetuate the idea that your level of busyness equals your value? Why is daydreaming a waste of time? It takes time and energy to understand who you are and what you truly desire. It takes time and courage to face yourself and what is holding you back. Staying busy will leave you feeling empty because you lose yourself as you continue to place your value in your works. Whatever it is you are trying so hard to avoid will never go away. It will always be there lurking in the background, influencing your daily decisions. Free time isn’t about just doing nothing… it’s about doing exactly what it is you want to do. What is it that’d you’d like to do if you had more time? Because you do have more time…. and we’re only given so much on this Earth.
Often, I believe people are afraid to just stop, think, and really get a grip on what they feel and who they are… to live with more mindfully and accept that they have influence and value. What is it you believe about yourself? Maybe they you are afraid they hold no value? Maybe your dreams seem impractical or unreachable? Maybe you don’t know the right questions to ask yourself? And maybe you are just afraid of the answers to the questions. Being “practical” can be good but sometimes being “practical” steals the life you were meant for. The world would be very different if people would see that what they do, what they say, and how they act truly does make a difference for both good and bad. We have a much bigger impact on this world than we often believe.
This summer I’ve seen the lives of people I know change in an instant. Time has never felt so short to me than it does right now and there’s no better time than now to make a change.
I am freeing myself from this jail. It’s time for me to take the leap and design my life the way I want to live it. I’m taking all the tools I’ve been acquiring from the time I was 7 years old till now and I’m starting my own business (more on that to come) with all the nervousness and excitement it entails. I’d rather risk failure and give it my all than keep going like this and wishing it could be different. It will be lots of hard work but, I know I won’t regret it…. because, anything is better than jail.
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